Dangerous Word

September 21, 2011

Communication Tip…Be cautious with the word ‘hope.’ Saying “I hope you like my information” implies you are not confident and can damage the message and rapport. Hope is one of the nine dangerous words in my new NLP communication and rapport book…Connect with Anyone in 90 Seconds or Less.


Keep the desired outcome in mind

November 20, 2010

A communication and rapport tip…

Keep the desired outcome in mind

The words you use can make you a lot of money or destroy your message. At a subconscious level,

your clients will be impacted by the words you use. Words have the power to create a positive and confident train of thought.
Most words will create a picture in your mind. That picture, in turn, will create a thought. And finally, that thought will create an emotion—a positive or negative emotion.
Consider the positive outcome that you want, then choose your words wisely.
A few dangerous words to be cautious of using are: “risk,” “danger,” “problems,” and “unstable.” Take the word “risk” for instance.
If you say, “There is a little risk in this project,” your client or coworker will focus on the word “risk.”
A different and more positive way of saying the same sentence would be, “I want you to feel confident in this project.”
The second version implies the same, but with a better choice of words.
The point is to keep your desired outcome in mind, and choose your words appropriately to maintain confidence and rapport.
To your success,
-Mike Aguilera
Communication Expert
specializing in rapport skills for business and leadership

NLP Rapport Technique

October 28, 2010
Here’s an NLP Rapport Technique to help you…
One way to influence and maintain rapport with a stubborn person (or someone with a very dominating personality) is make them feel it is their idea or probably already know. Example: “You probably already know this…(state what you want them to be open to hear and talk about).”

March 15, 2010

We all face challenges (and maybe stress and anxiety preparing for a presentation).

When faced with adversity, which group are you?

Carrots, Eggs & Coffee …

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ‘ Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

 Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, mother?’

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

‘Which are you?’ she asked her daughter. ‘When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?’

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

 Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

 Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

 When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to share this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST HAVE); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

May we all be COFFEE!!!!!! …think about this story when you are preparing for a presentation and feel overwhelmed with anxiety.

March 11, 2010
A tip to help conquer fear and anxiety with public speaking.

Think of it as a conversation not a speech or presentation.

The label conversation changes your thoughts and

experience about the event/speech.  When you think of a speech, you think of performance (and performance aneity). However, when you replace with “I’m going to have a great conversation with the group” your feelings and thoughts shift to being more relaxed and engaging.

Hello world!

March 11, 2010

Welcome to my Blog.

I will be sharing tips, ideas, and comments on communication skills and public speaking.

Thank you for visiting.